Three years and one month ago I had a dream. My granddad that passed away that year and to whom I was very close to, came to me in my dream and told me that Mischief, Zorro’s mom, will have 2 cubs on the 30th of November. He told me that one of the cubs is a gift from him to me to always remember him by and find comfort with.
On the 30th of November, one month after my dream, Zorro and his brother Zian was born right in front of my eyes. As it was Mischief’s first litter and she was captive born and hand reared she didn’t know what to do. I helped her to get the little bags off them and held them so she could clean them. She trusted me and I even put them on her nipples to drink for the very first time.
Three days later Mischief rejected both of them and I took them in to hand rear. Zian, his brother died at 3 weeks of age on the 24th of December and even though I was devastated, Zorro gave me comfort and stole my heart all over again. From that day on Zorro has been a comforting and guiding part of my life and when I think of him I think of kindness and love….
As I sit here and write tonight I still struggle to understand what went wrong – I struggle to understand why my gift from above was taken away from me so soon. I struggle to understand how it can be that you are with me one moment and 10 days later you are gone. I feel so responsible and even though you say I should not blame myself, my leopard boy, I still feel that I should have protected you from any harm.
Zorro, my bombompies, I do not know how to be without you, I do not know how to look at your tree and platforms and not feel my heart ache. I do not know how any day will become easier without having you close and around me…..
You sent me a clear message and I know that you have important spiritual work to do, I know that you are still with me and in my heart, and I know that you fold your paws around me and protect and love me, but I will everyday wish that I could turn back time …. Every day I will wish that I could save you and have you with us, and I will try every day to make you proud and to live my days with kindness.
Zorro, thank you for blessing me with love and guidance, and thank you for choosing me to be your friend and guardian. Thank you for being my bombompies and Lala’s friend, and we feel you close every single minute.
All my love – always and forever <3